My initial undergo of anxiety
Although I can not compare my anxiety to higher-level severities, I must acknowledge that it exists. My eighth grade year of elementary school was my initial undergo of having an anxiety attack. I was sitting in my school bathroom overthinking everything, which was not out of the ordinary as I often put a lot of weight on my shoulders, but this incident was different from anything I ever experienced. I was crying so hard to the point where I was making myself sick, and I did not have any control over my thoughts. Eventually, I went back into class and didn’t say a word for the rest of the day. The same situation continued happening sporadically throughout the year until one day I realized it had completely overtaken me. I was not quiet, I was not apathetic, I was not anti-social, yet that seemed to be the person I had become. One day I finally decided to talk to my mom about it. My mom: the most considerate, emphatic, loving woman you could ever meet, allowed me to learn that opening up about my anxiousness was my solution, that holding in my emotions was not healthy for me. And although my mom might not remember this day, I do. I do because after I talked about my worries and what was happening, I instantaneously felt a splash of relief across my entire body. It was as if my “old-self” had been unleashed in a matter of five minutes. In spite of the fact that I couldn’t be more overjoyed about opening up about the anxious tendencies I was experiencing, I couldn’t help but wonder: “Why did that happen? Why was my brain thinking about things that did not matter anymore? Why was I so afraid of things I couldn’t control?”.
Today, I am a sophomore in high school and I still ask myself those questions; however, anxiety’s position in my life has exceptionally improved. I still do experience the overwhelming feeling of emotions that I cannot describe at times, but I had to recognize that these instances would not disappear immediately. I heard a quote that read "Where focus goes, energy flows"; Therefore, I condoned that I needed to adjust to a few coping methods in order to work towards reducing my stress. And as a matter of fact, you are engaging in one of my coping methods right now! Not only does talking through situations put my mind at ease, but so does writing. Writing about my fears makes me feel like I have a grasp of control over them. I am also continuously working on myself and the traits that set me back; most importantly, I work on taking the time to inform myself that everything is going to be okay.
Find coping methods fit for you
You are probably asking, “Well sure, you are working to progress yours, but how can I?” My answer is, it will get better if you allow it to get better. It took me some time to realize that I needed the extra support. I encourage you to experiment with new ways and find the ones that are ideal for you whether that is talking to someone, doing a breathing exercise, or doing self-care. If you feel you need more of a professional type of help, consider therapy. You deserve to find your peace, so please seek it in any way that is available to you. Remember, "Where focus goes, energy flows".