The feeling of hate so strong
The nervousness of being replaced
Trying to prove you’re worth it just to be recognized and appreciated
The satisfaction of being approved makes all the drama worth it
And then she comes
Then slowly but surely you’re being replaced by her
slowly and slowly becoming irrelevant to them
And then boom, you’re just a person who laughs in the background
Just a background character in the new girls movie
And then you realize she’s not so bad
You start talking and hanging out and soon, she’s your best friend
The one you now talk, gossip, and chit chat with
A couple of amazing months go by and you’re so proud to be her best friend
And then you slowly start separating
And you wonder…. Is it me? Am I the reason I keep losing friends?
Or is it because there is always someone going to be better than me
Am I always going to be in second place? How do I fix myself?
One fight after another
And one small argument turns into a lion fight
Soon after that, her number is blocked
Deleted from your phone and your heart
Or so you thought she was out of your heart
Until six months after you think about her while shopping for clothes
Or picking out snacks for the house or even seeing stupid videos that she would like
And you just wait and wait and wait for her to text you
You wait and hope and just want to scream at yourself forever ending your friendship
So you do it
You suck it up and text her
A long message simply showing how much you regret your decision
And you sit in silence picking up and checking your phone every ten seconds
*Ding* - it’s a response from her
You wanna jump for joy and your shaking when you respond back once again
And after an hour of talking, it’s like she was never gone
Then a couple of days past and she just stops texting
It’s like she’s not there, but she is
Her body is at the phone typing away but her mind and soul is in Neverland
And you feel this feeling you always hated
That always made you want to puke up your lunch or scream your heart out
And you get the text
The one saying she can’t be friends with you, and a bunch of reasons why
And she sends the reasons like it’s supposed to make me feel better
Like it’s supposed to help us move on
But those reasons she typed in 5 seconds, last with you for 5 years
And you try to change yourself and become a whole different person
Like those reasons are guidelines or rules to who YOU have to be
Because you would do anything to get your friend back
And you get back to wondering…Is this my fault?... How do I change?